“WHEN I GROW UP, I WANNA SPY ON THE NEIGHBORS!”

Imagine a world where Teletubbies pack heat and Spongebob goes under­cover. That’s appar­ently what US gov­ern­ment web design­ers had in mind when they fol­lowed President Clinton’s 1997 order to add child-​​oriented Web pages to gov­ern­ment sites. Today, the results are bizarre — cryp­to­graphic col­or­ing books, drug-​​sniffing dog car­toons, and spy-​​satellite sing-​​alongs. Are they giant inside jokes? Coded mes­sages? The rem­nants of LSD exper­i­ments gone awry? Only Dick Cheney may know for sure.
Here are two exam­ples. Click on over to my story in this month’s Wired mag­a­zine for the rest:

NRO Jr.
The National Reconnaissance Office used to be so hush-​​hush that offi­cials wouldn’t admit it existed. Now the spy-​​satellite agency has gone cute. The site has songs (“Whoosh Goes Satellite,” to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”), sto­ries of cats in space, and “simple-​​to-​​make, paper-​​plate satel­lite pup­pets.“
CIA’s Homepage for Kids
Youngsters can thank CIA “Ace Photo Pigeon” Harry Recon for the excit­ing over­head views of the agency’s Langley, Virginia, head­quar­ters (pre­sum­ably with some details redacted). Meanwhile, Ginger, a mis­chie­vous blue teddy bear, takes a tour of spook HQ — with­out a secu­rity badge. “Lucky the guard knows me!”

November 24th, 2004 | Bizarro | Comments Off Both comments and pings are currently closed.