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Home » Bizarro » Be Mickey Mouse’s Spy

Be Mickey Mouse’s Spy

Some of you may have felt a lit­tle under­qual­i­fied to become a man­hunter for Special Operations Command. Never fear. An anony­mous pal has found a job almost as good: “Intelligence Analyst” for the Walt Disney Company. Yeah, you read that right: a spook for the Mouse… “highly devel­oped Internet skills” and “US Government secu­rity clear­ance (at least Secret-​​level) desir­able.“
mickey_binos.jpgEmployer: The Walt Disney Company
Sector: Public
Type: Job
Status: Full-​​time
Location: Burbank, CA
Title: Intelligence Analyst
THE SITUATION: Basic Purpose and Objective of the Position: The Intelligence Analyst antic­i­pates and assesses threats that could harm, or make vul­ner­a­ble, The Walt Disney Company (TWDC), its employ­ees, guests, or assets.
THE POSITION: The ana­lyst thor­oughly reviews infor­ma­tion from open/​public sources, offi­cial sources, and pro­fes­sional con­tacts, and con­ducts reg­u­lar assess­ments of world events, regional/​national secu­rity cli­mates, and sus­pect indi­vid­u­als and groups. The ana­lyst pro­duces a range of writ­ten and ver­bal analy­ses for employ­ees and man­age­ment of the Company and pro­vides tac­ti­cal intel­li­gence sup­port to the Company’s secu­rity and cri­sis man­age­ment oper­a­tors…
% of Total Duties and Responsibilities
45 [%] Monitors open source media, home­land secu­rity and law enforce­ment bul­letins, and infor­ma­tion from pro­fes­sional con­tacts, for inter­na­tional, national, and local news and intel­li­gence that may affect the secu­rity and safety of TWDC. Maintains com­pre­hen­sive files of intel­li­gence on key issues and parts of the world; main­tains record of threats received, assess­ments, and their dis­po­si­tion. Plays key infor­ma­tion pro­cess­ing role in the Corporate-​​level Emergency Operations Center, when acti­vated.
35 [%] Anticipates sce­nar­ios, ana­lyzes infor­ma­tion, and pro­duces writ­ten or ver­bal assess­ments and warn­ing fore­casts for Global Security man­age­ment and other appro­pri­ate TWDC con­sumers. Assessments will be assigned or self-​​initiated. Recommends strate­gies to mit­i­gate secu­rity risks as appro­pri­ate or required.
10 [%] Develops and main­tains reg­u­lar liai­son with local, national, and inter­na­tional law enforce­ment and intel­li­gence com­mu­nity part­ners. Maintains and broad­ens pro­fes­sional skills and con­tacts through exter­nal train­ing and atten­dance at con­fer­ences.
5 [%] Becomes sub­ject mat­ter expert on issues such as coun­tert­er­ror­ism, travel secu­rity, and inter­na­tional affairs.
5 [%] Finds and coor­di­nates train­ing oppor­tu­ni­ties and intel­li­gence pro­duc­tion of ana­lytic cadre through­out TWDC…
Education Level: BA/​BS Required AND 4–6 Years of Experience
Field of Study/​Area of Experience: Political sci­ence, inter­na­tional rela­tions, national secu­rity stud­ies, or related field pre­ferred Other
Training/​Technical Skills/​Knowledge:

* Highly devel­oped Internet skills and knowl­edge of Microsoft Office-​​based appli­ca­tions, such as Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access
* Foreign area knowl­edge and under­stand­ing of con­tem­po­rary affairs gained through study, travel, or work abroad ” Knowledge and under­stand­ing of analy­sis on secu­rity issues, espe­cially though not exclu­sively related to ter­ror­ism
* Familiarity with infor­ma­tion resources and data-​​mining tech­niques ” Analytic expe­ri­ence and for­mal train­ing with an intel­li­gence agency, law enforce­ment orga­ni­za­tion, the mil­i­tary, or the pri­vate sec­tor required
* US Government secu­rity clear­ance (at least Secret-​​level) desirable.

Abilities & Behaviors

* Strong research and crit­i­cal think­ing skills to iden­tify, col­lect, and eval­u­ate data; to absorb and syn­the­size large amounts of infor­ma­tion; and to draw log­i­cal, inter­pretable, and poten­tially action­able con­clu­sions.
* Strong writ­ten and ver­bal English pre­sen­ta­tion skills.
* Solid inter­per­sonal, team­build­ing, and net­work­ing skills
* Ability to work under pres­sure of tight dead­lines and high, exact­ing stan­dards
* High moti­va­tion, desire for pro­fes­sional growth and con­tin­u­ous improve­ment, and a sin­cere will­ing­ness to learn
* Ability to inter­face with and rep­re­sent Disney Global Security to all lev­els of man­age­ment, exec­u­tives, and exter­nal part­ners
* Ability to orga­nize, bal­ance, and pri­or­i­tize mul­ti­ple projects
* Exhibits cre­ativ­ity and inno­v­a­tive­ness ” Willingness and abil­ity to train oth­ers ” Strong pro­fes­sional ethics and abil­ity to main­tain absolute dis­cre­tion, con­fi­den­tial­ity, and trust.

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February 27th, 2006 | Bizarro | 478711 Comments »http://defensetech.org/2006/02/27/be-mickey-mouses-spy/Be+Mickey+Mouse%27s+Spy2006-02-27+21%3A11%3A21noahmax You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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  1. mr ho says:
    February 27, 2006 at 11:49 pm

    Wonder if those Disney Security Jobs have any­thing to do with these DHS laws? Given Bush and his dat­a­min­ing ways, its likely a part of the TIA that didnt go away, they just renamed it TOPSAIL.
    Consider all the Foreigners that travel there and the Data gleaned. Welcome to Orwellia.
    .
    http://​www​.gao​.gov/​d​o​c​s​e​a​r​c​h​/​r​e​p​a​n​d​t​e​s​t​.​h​tml
    Because exist­ing laws pro­vide DHS with only lim­ited author­ity to address secu­rity at chem­i­cal facil­i­ties, it has relied pri­mar­ily on the industry’s vol­un­tary secu­rity efforts. However, the extent to which com­pa­nies are address­ing secu­rity is unclear. Unlike EPA, for exam­ple, which requires drink­ing water facil­i­ties to improve their secu­rity, DHS does not have the author­ity to require chem­i­cal facil­i­ties to assess their vul­ner­a­bil­i­ties and imple­ment secu­rity mea­sures. Therefore, DHS can­not ensure that facil­i­ties are tak­ing these actions. DHS has stated that its exist­ing author­i­ties do not per­mit it to effec­tively reg­u­late the chem­i­cal indus­try, and that the Congress should enact fed­eral require­ments for chem­i­cal facilities.

    Reply
  2. Nicholas Weaver says:
    February 28, 2006 at 11:31 am

    It actu­ally sounds like both an inter­est­ing and nec­es­sary job. Any large multi­na­tional prob­a­bly ben­e­fits from some­one in that roll, and the job require­ments really make sense.
    Especially given Disney’s high pro­file as a very amer­i­can but inter­na­tional pres­ence, such a DCI-​​fo-​​Disney roll seems essen­tial for the company.

    Reply
  3. Jim says:
    February 28, 2006 at 8:25 pm

    5 [%] Becomes sub­ject mat­ter expert on issues such as coun­tert­er­ror­ism, travel secu­rity, and inter­na­tional affairs.
    Yeah, that’ll hap­pen, become an SME on coun­tert­er­ror­ism and International Affairs as a col­lat­eral duty. Makes per­fect sense, maybe it’s a Government job after all.

    Reply
  4. Howard Sux says:
    February 28, 2006 at 11:19 pm

    M-​​I-​​C… See you real soon!
    K-​​E-​​Y… Why? Because we’re para­noid!
    M-​​O-​​U-​​S-​​EEEEE!!!

    Reply
  5. CJ says:
    March 1, 2006 at 2:41 am

    More impor­tantly.….
    how much does it pay :)

    Reply
  6. FMR says:
    March 1, 2006 at 10:10 am

    This isnt scary. This is the new nor­mal.
    Most cor­po­ra­tions are try­ing to build sim­i­lar func­tions. The only sur­prise is that this job is in-​​house, not con­tracted out. Disney runs a cruise line. Remember the recent case in which top al Qaeda oper­a­tors who were try­ing to blow up cruise ships were rounded up in Turkey only because the super-​​powered explo­sives man­u­fac­tur­ing equip­ment they were using caused a fire? The leader even had his face altered by plas­tic surgery. Think of the sym­bol­ism for the jihadists (my spellcheck wants to change the pre­vi­ous word to nihilists) if they can slaugh­ter infi­dels’ chil­dren at a Disney tem­ple to mate­ri­al­ism. Would you be gig­gling if this job were at a chem­i­cal plant, med­ical research lab or sea port? But how often have you taken your kids to any of those places?

    Reply
  7. bharath says:
    December 24, 2006 at 1:02 pm

    yeah,it does not look as the mickey mouse car­toon seems to be. HuH.….I never expected that a com­pany which enter­tains chil­dren ‚can need such a help

    Reply
  8. inarguable says:
    December 28, 2006 at 6:21 am

    Sadly, it is pre­cisely because Disney enter­tains chil­dren that they need such secu­rity today. Remember Beslan? Disneyworld and Disneyland are most def­i­nitely what a heart­less, reli­giously moti­vated ter­ror­ist would deem to be a ‘tar­get rich’ environment.

    Reply

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