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Home » Missiles » Iran’s Super Missile Will Defeat Great Satan, Steal Your Girlfriend

Iran’s Super Missile Will Defeat Great Satan, Steal Your Girlfriend

There was an AP story the other day that parroted some hilarious Iranian claims about the capability of their missiles :

Iran-Missile-Fajr-3-1avril2006-1-2.jpg

Stressing Iran’s preparedness, state television said the Revolutionary Guards planned to begin three days of testing the short-range Zalzal and Fajr-5 missiles Sunday. It could not be confirmed if the exercise had begun near Garmsar city, about 60 miles southeast of Tehran.

“The maneuver is aimed at evaluating defensive and fighting capabilities of the missiles,” the report quoted an unidentified Guards commander as saying.

Last year, Iran held three large-scale military exercises to test what it called an “ultra-horizon” missile and the Fajr-3, a rocket that it claims can evade radar and use multiple warheads to hit several targets simultaneously. (emphasis mine)

When I first read this, I practically fell out of my chair laughing. For those unacquainted with the Fajr-3, it is spin-stabilized artillery rocket based with a range of about 50 miles. It is typically fired out of tubes mounted on the back of a truck, similar to the classic Katyusha. Iranian generals have tried to pass off the Fajr family of rockets off as some sort of medium range ballistic miracle before, which I imagine was greeted with a healthy amount of skepticism.

The only way an unguided rocket like the Fajr could avoid radar is if it was fired in a really low arc. The efficacy of this option is very limited, however, because it drastically reduces the rocket’s range. The MIRV is just silly. The only way that rocket is going to strike a target in multiple times is if it breaks up in mid-air.

By the way, the Fajr also provides a excellent case of why Wikipedia isn’t always the greatest source of information. Some poor sap named ArmanJan created a profile for a Fajr-3 ballistic missile based on the erroneous San Diego Trib article I linked to. Check out the discussion page for lots of great back and forth between him and the heroes that defend Wikipedia’s veracity on a daily basis.

If that wasn’t enough to crack a smile on your face, just look at how inconsistent the AP story is with a CBS​.com story on the same subject:

The Iranian military on Monday began five days of maneuvers near the northern city of Garmsar, about 62 miles southeast of Tehran, state television reported. The military tested its Zalzal-1 and Fajr-5 missiles, the TV reported.

The Zalzal-1, able to carry a 1,200-pound payload, has a range of 200 miles, making it able to hit anywhere in Iraq or U.S. bases in the Gulf as well as into eastern Saudi Arabia. The Fajr-5, with a 1,800-pound payload, has a range of 35 miles.

Neither could reach Israel, but Iran is known to have missiles that can. It is not known if either missile tested Monday is capable of carrying a nuclear warhead. (again, emphasis added)

To quote Donald Rumsfeld, “Oh my goodness gracious.” 1,800 pound payload? I think I will go with Globalsecurity​.org and the Nuclear Threat Initiative’s more conservative payload estimate of 90 kilograms (about 200 pounds).

As for the nuclear question, I think that even 1,200 pounds is a bit light for basic gun-type payload. We managed to get our kiloton W9 and W19 nuclear artillery shells down to 850 and 600 pounds, respectively, but I don’t know if the Iranians are anywhere near that level of technical prowess yet.

- Crossposted from Robot Economist’s blog The Arms Control Otaku

UPDATE 11:33 AM: Now the Mullahs are claiming they’ve got a hand-launched UAV, too.

Researchers in this company have for the first time designed and built four-kilo (nine-pound) hand-launched aircraft, Rasool Peyghambari, director of aeronautics company Asr-e Talai Factories told the ISNA news agency.

These aircraft are unique in the country and they are as good as the best and most efficient ones internationally, he said, adding we prefer to display its capabilities after operational tests.

This isn’t really my areas of expertise. But Armscontrol​.ru has a extended article on Iranian drones, with pictures and data. Needless to say, I don’t think they can compete with our snappy F-22 Raptor RC plane, let alone the RQ-11 Raven UAV.

UPDATE 11:433 AM:Check out Jane Vaynman’s take on the trouble brewing for Iran’s psycho president.

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January 24th, 2007 | Missiles | 34168 Comments »http://defensetech.org/2007/01/24/irans-super-missile-will-defeat-great-satan-steal-your-girlfriend/Iran%27s+Super+Missile+Will+Defeat+Great+Satan%2C+Steal+Your+Girlfriend2007-01-24+16%3A25%3A12hampton You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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  1. pjk says:
    January 24, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that headline. Actually not really, but I laughed really hard. Well done.

    Reply
  2. Macaca says:
    January 24, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    The title made me smile too, niceone :)
    On a side note: I find the ‘typical Arabic’ rethorics somewhat amusing. It’s allways so much better and nicer then the real thing they’re talking about, with such obvious exagerations that im allways wondering if they’d believe it themselves (allmost like stand up comedy).
    The way Iran talks about their missiles and weaponary is so alike my friendly neighbourhood halal guy and his brother the electornics salesman. “Oh sir, it can do 500 watts no problem! Special!”

    Reply
  3. Haninah says:
    January 25, 2007 at 10:08 am

    @jrp:
    Don’t you mean RSLV? After all, single-use space launch vehicles are the type of primitive technology the infidels are still fiddling with… clearly, if it’s manufactured by the Islamic Republic (using entirely indigenous designs and processes, of course) it must be the next generation system!

    Reply
  4. Joe says:
    December 5, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    Americans like yourself almost fell out of their chair too when they were told in 1960 that the Vietnamese would ‘ass-whip’ them, they didn’t listen and the rest was history.
    The Israeli’s practically fell out of their chair when Hezbollah said it could and would defend itself and, well to be honest they were KICKED out of their chairs by Hezbollah.
    You really don’t want to be makeing the same mistake again now do we. I mean sole ‘superpower’ can’t even score a victory in Afghanistan nevermind thinking about Iran.
    A classic case of dumb and dumber!

    Reply
  5. The Light of the World says:
    January 13, 2009 at 8:29 am

    And God created Man in his own image and commanded his Angles to bow before him…
    … But him the most wicked that old serpent that is satan refused.
    And he will do anything to make you bow before him.
    So be careful ye muslim, for anybody who bows down before anybody other than man is bowing before Satan!

    Reply
  6. m.a.valizadeh says:
    January 25, 2009 at 10:18 am

    i want a girlfriend to 17 age

    Reply

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