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Home » Bizarro » The Hydraulic Pearl

The Hydraulic Pearl

oyster.jpg

As if tita­nium tub­ing and exotic-​​alloy far­ings weren’t enough, now the Air Force is get­ting all Gucci on us and fash­ion­ing air­plane parts out of jewelry…sort of.

From Aviation Week:

Researchers at the University of Dayton in Ohio are prepar­ing an Air Force report show­ing the corrosion-​​protection poten­tial that results from prod­ding oys­ters to pro­duce pearl-​​like coat­ings on met­als. Senior research sci­en­tist Doug Hansen says his team has manip­u­lated oys­ter blood cells, prompt­ing them to deposit nacre, a nat­ural cal­cium car­bon­ate ceramic, onto alu­minum, tita­nium and stainless-​​steel alloys. The deposits are frac­ture resis­tant and, as coat­ings, they can last a life­time, he says. The work is funded by the Air Force Office of Scientific Research. 

I guess if this hap­pens, Air Force main­te­nance man­agers are going to have to reg­u­larly case the local pawn shops for the flashy pearl-​​coated parts.

(Gouge: NC)

– Christian

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February 11th, 2008 | Bizarro | 383219 Comments »http://defensetech.org/2008/02/11/the-hydraulic-pearl/The+Hydraulic+Pearl2008-02-11+15%3A26%3A14Ward You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

« « Push-​​Back on the MGS | Blowin’ Your Mind » »

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  1. Vercingetorix says:
    February 11, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Eh, they would be painted MIL-​​SPEC grey or blue.
    You know what doesn’t rust? GOLD. They should issue gold-​​plated AKs and M-​​16s. Straight pimp­ing, yo.

    Reply
  2. chiropetra says:
    February 11, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Reminds me of General Patton’s com­ment when cor­re­spon­dents mis-​​identified his ivory-​​handled pis­tol as hav­ing pearl han­dles.
    No one but a pimp uses a pearl-​​handled gun, he said.
    Hmm. I can just see the redesigned flight suits to go with the pearl coated air­craft.
    On the other hand, why not just bypass pearl and gold and go for dia­mond film coat­ing? Not only would it elim­i­nate cor­ro­sion prob­lems, it would elim­i­nate wear as well.

    Reply
  3. DC2 Jennings says:
    February 11, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    I want to see one of those fighter jocks take their hel­met off and put on a pur­ple fadora(sp?)hat.
    Then they can hop into the gov­ern­ment pro­vided Suburban rollin on the spin­ner 22s.

    Reply
  4. Brian says:
    February 11, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    We need spin­ners and hydraulics on our Abrams. Al Quaeda will sur­ren­der ‘cuz they know oth­er­wise we’ll pimp-​​slap them. “Where’s my money, bitch? Where’s my money?”

    Reply
  5. CTR1(SW) says:
    February 11, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    And we used to joke about the “gold plated ham­mers!“
    Pearl plated planes! aaarrrrgggghhhhh.

    Reply
  6. OrdMar says:
    February 11, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    I won­der if this oys­ter byprod­uct would make these fall under US Fish and Wildlife reg­u­la­tions should the parts ever end up sur­plus on the civil­ian mar­ket? Regulating shells is a joke any­way, except per­haps in the case of the queen conch shell. Plus, it is easy money for the FWS at $55 per ship­ment dec­la­ra­tion, plus licens­ing fees for importers /​ exporters. Just another prod­uct that they can strong arm and seize.

    Reply
  7. Rob1855 says:
    February 11, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    Well, I was won­der­ing what the EA-​​6b dri­vers would acces­sorize with in their next incar­na­tion. Now I guess we know.

    Reply
  8. 22lr says:
    February 11, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Come on all jokes aside this is a valid tool for reduc­ing the wear on air­craft parts.

    Reply
  9. chiropetra says:
    February 11, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    “Come on all jokes aside this is a valid tool for reduc­ing the wear on air­craft parts.“
    Yeah,we know. It’s just do damn *weird*

    Reply
  10. smitty says:
    February 11, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    On the other hand, why not just bypass pearl and gold and go for dia­mond film coat­ing? Not only would it elim­i­nate cor­ro­sion prob­lems, it would elim­i­nate wear as well.
    But you couldn’t park or leave any air­craft parts any­where near the hood…

    Reply
  11. Macaca says:
    February 12, 2008 at 5:43 am

    Im still wait­ing for the time when lasers are com­mon­place and the mil­i­tary starts cov­er­ing all gear with a full coat of mir­ror paint.
    BLING!

    Reply
  12. Rix says:
    February 12, 2008 at 6:45 am

    My wed­ding ring is machined air­craft tita­nium with a coat­ing of indus­trial dia­mond. So it can be done albeit at jew­elry prices. So the dia­mond film is a viable proposition.

    Reply
  13. Mandrel says:
    February 12, 2008 at 6:48 am

    Next thing you know the oys­ters will be on MTV.
    Iron Oyster Cult?
    Pearl Jelly?
    Hummm…

    Reply
  14. Dennis says:
    February 12, 2008 at 11:23 am

    Sound like an expen­sive form of Ceramic Coating.…
    I am unsure how this is eas­ier than just putting exotic mate­r­ial in ceramic coat­ing.
    If you are unfa­mil­iar with Ceramic coat­ing, you can put a pos­i­tive charge on metal, and then spray the coat­ing onto the metal which it adheres to.
    Then “Bake” for a cou­ple hours and the stuff is cor­ro­sion resis­tant and extremely durable.
    If you have watched “American Chopper” or any of the auto­mo­tive shows, it is a com­mon technology.….

    Reply
  15. Takeo says:
    February 12, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    Great, we get some out of the box think­ing and all peo­ple can do is make jokes and crit­i­cize. This method ( from what I have read,) requires no spe­cial mate­ri­als, no sophis­ti­cated machin­ery, is low cost and uses noth­ing but envi­ron­men­tally friendly chem­i­cals, what’s not to like?

    Reply
  16. Vercingetorix says:
    February 12, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    Takeo, I think it’s awe­some. Enough to pimp-​​slap a GAO reg­u­la­tor, in fact. :)

    Reply
  17. awais says:
    July 31, 2009 at 8:54 am

    hello
    we are man­u­factuer and exporter of wide rang of mil­i­tary accessoires.and all mil­i­taer uniform.gloves leather jackets.socks.badges
    please visit our site/​
    http://​www​.myimu​ni​form​.com
    awais_​butt1​6​@​yahoo.​com
    0526937647

    Reply

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