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Marines vs Taliban

by Ward Carroll on May 29, 2009

Marines-fight-AQ-campsLARGE.jpg

One of my Marine buddies from 2–5 sent this to me. I thought I’d share it.

A large group of Taliban fighters is moving down a ravine in the Korengal Valley, in southern Afghanistan, when they hear a hoarse voice call from behind a sand-dune in a mocking tone, “Yo, muj, did you know that one Marine Marine is better than ten of you smelly Talib?”

Insulted to the quick (though he did indeed smell), the Taliban commander sent ten of his best men over the rocky hill, whereupon a gunbattle broke out immediately. The gunbattle was short, but vicious, punctuated by screams of agony and fear in Dari and Pushtu. Then there was silence.

A moment later, there was a snicker, then the same voice called out, “Bad Muj! Didn’t you know one grunt is better than any hundred so-called Taliban fighters?”

Furious now, the Taliban commander sent his next best hundred men up and over the incline and instantly a terrible gunfight ensued. The sharp chatter of M-4 fire barked out in counterpoint to the dull clatter of the Kalashnikovs, interspersed with the detonations of grenades and screams of agony and fear in Pushtu and Dari. After a full five minutes of battle, silence reigned heavily across the valley.

A moment later that same mocking voice called out, though to be fair to the muj, the grunt was obviously breathing at least a little bit faster. The voice called out, “Bad Muj, silly muj, you have to know that one grunt is better than one thousand sheep-loving Taliban!”

Thoroughly enraged now, the Taliban commander mustered a full thousand of his fighters and sent them into the fight. RPGs hissed and boomed, hand grenades exploded, echoing down the Korengal Valley and even PKM fire rattled and roared over all the small arms fire. At last, one badly wounded muj fighter appeared, crawling down the military crest of the ridge.

“Don’t send any more men,” he gasped as the life fled his body, “It’s a trap. There’s two of them.”

I know, I know, it’s moto and it’s stupid, but I liked it. Anyway, more serious stuff later, just thought I’d throw that out there to provide a little Thursday evening entertainment.

BreachBangClear

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

JV May 29, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Aiee I heard that one many years ago about the 1967 war about the Israli Army and the arabs. (Still seems to apply to arabs . . . . .)

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GA May 29, 2009 at 4:04 pm

in reality the opposite happens though

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CR May 29, 2009 at 4:31 pm

The point is….

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kim scholer May 29, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Jeez, I was hoping for some sheep-joke….

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CTR1(SW) May 29, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Yup! Heard this one years ago. STILL GREAT THOUGH!
BTW: Ollie North’s book “American Heroes” is really good.

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58bravo May 29, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Woah, a joke. And not even a good one at that. The quality of this site really goes down the drain since Noah left.

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JSmith May 29, 2009 at 9:17 pm

OK — I heard this one when my Mom was a kid.
Still funny in it’s current version tho’!
Go Marines!

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flying fart peoudly joyned May 29, 2009 at 11:39 pm

you can find this in a chinese colection of mongolian jockes from the Tshingiskhan times..

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6-2SBCT May 30, 2009 at 3:48 am

That was lame. All marines do is copy stuff and claim it as their own. M.A.R.I.N.E = Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential

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Vertigo May 30, 2009 at 6:49 am

I got a good laugh out of that one :p

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Tyler May 30, 2009 at 9:45 am

a pretty standard military joke, but I got a giggle out of it just the same.
Incidentally the punchline to that joke apparently made Rumsfeld laugh so damn hard he decided to make it doctrine.
smh

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wembley May 30, 2009 at 1:47 pm

It does raise though the intersting question of what the odds reall are – how many Taliban are there?
I saw one estimate of 19,000 in 2006, against around 55,000 coalition forces. Of course there are more coalition support and logistics units outside Afganistan and the colaition troops keep rotating in and out of theater while the Taliban stay the same.

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Paulg May 31, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Last time I heard it was on my uncles lap when he was on leave from Angola. And that time it was 2 recce commandos and a bunch of SWAPO.

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Rhyno327 June 1, 2009 at 9:31 am

Ha! Its TRUE!!

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dave June 1, 2009 at 10:28 am

I first learned it as Sherman trying to take Stone Mountain from 2 Rebs.

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shawn June 1, 2009 at 3:31 pm

Well, since you think in reality the Taliban would beat the Marines, go join them!
Ok boys, soon as they join, you know what to do…

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WJS June 2, 2009 at 1:22 am

Ok Sgt Oblat explain to me what battle the Marines lost to the Taliban or any western military force lost to the Taliban. Except the French. No one wants to talk about the French.

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jw June 8, 2009 at 1:32 am

What an incredibly juvenile story. It’s a sad reflection of your lack of intellect that you find this even remotely funny. Are you all 16?

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Olternaut July 15, 2009 at 1:18 pm

I liked it. Not laugh out loud funny but it gave me a smile.

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bradford November 12, 2009 at 12:04 am

Oh yeah…. 600 Billion dollars a year in defense spending.. Laser Guided missles, preditor drones. nuclear weapons….. and the top general running the war in Afganistan is warning the war is lost without more troops..
And this is a war being fought against rag heads with AK's…
The joke's on us…. Better get a reality check

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godis December 2, 2009 at 3:47 pm

GA and bradford are right; the joke's on US. Some day our troops will come home; the Taliban are already home.

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Elease Wicketts February 8, 2011 at 10:57 pm

There are some interesting closing dates on this article however I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There may be some validity however I’ll take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we would like extra! Added to FeedBurner as effectively

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Just Jim March 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

I like it. It made me laugh. Semper Fi mo'fos

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Secure 1 March 27, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Quit your pissin and moanin its just a joke. Even the Jar Heads and Grunts get a laugh out of it and there in the shit up to there elbows. So lead follow or just get the hell out of the way. Semper Fi

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