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Home » Bizarro » When Doomsday Arrives (You’re prepared)

When Doomsday Arrives (You’re prepared)

nukepills.jpg

It’s not too early to be thinking about Christmas, folks. So for that hard-to-please gift recipient, we’ve brought you a perfect solution to your conundrum.

Think a Nork nuke attack or a poor-man’s radiological bomb — you’re just minding your own business playing fantasy football or reading DoD Buzz and *BOOM* the evildoers pop off a 50 gallon drum of old X-ray machines wrapped in C4 sprinkling nuclear fallout all over your favorite dog park.

What do you do?

Grab your handy dandy Dirty Bomb Emergency Kit, that’s what.

Nukepills.com (don’t you love that name?), an online provider of radiation mitigation medication, sent out a release announcing its new Dirty Bomb Emergency Kit for when the sh&!t really hits the fan…

The Dirty Bomb Emergency Kit is used to instantly detect radiation and safely, quickly and significantly decontaminate people and surfaces of radioactive material most likely found in a dirty bomb using the supplied Quick-Decon resin-based decontamination solutions. The included military-grade RADTriage Personal Radiation Detectors instantly detect radiation exposure in the event of a dirty bomb, nuclear reactor accident, nuclear weapon fallout and other sources of radiation.

(FULL DISCLOSURE: I’ve always wanted a personal radiation detector)

The web site says the kit costs $250 and works on the entire family. So if you live near Three Mile Island, Manhattan or DC, it might be worth asking Santa for one of these just to be on the safe side.

(Photo: Nukepills.com)

– Christian

Share |

September 24th, 2009 | Bizarro | 473633 Comments »http://defensetech.org/2009/09/24/when-doomsday-arrives-youre-prepared/When+Doomsday+Arrives+%28You%27re+prepared%292009-09-24+15%3A18%3A04jnoonan You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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  1. Jeff M says:
    September 24, 2009 at 11:55 am

    If a personal radiation detector is what you want, http://www.nukalert.com

    Reply
  2. Jimmy B says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Nukalert? I use to own two of them. Junk.

    Reply
  3. Jeff M says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    How are they junk? I’m curious.
    They seem more useful in that you know right away if you’re in a bad place, not after you’ve already been irradiated for an hour.

    Reply
  4. Jimmy B says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    About the Nukalert
    “At the lowest levels it will alarm within 3-5 minutes, mid-range 1-2 minutes and at the highest ranges within seconds”. – extracted from Owner’s Manual
    “The response is also exponential. For example it may take 1 minute to reach 63% of the final alarm reading, another minute to reach 86%, another minute to reach 95%”. – extracted from manufacturer’s website
    At the highest level (50mR/hr) it would take the unit at least 20 minutes to “quiet down” as it works it’s way down exponentially through the 10 alert levels. “After removal from the radiation field it will quickly drop down to the next lower range alarm and then more slowly reset back down through all the ranges til silent once again”. – extracted from Owner’s Manual
    Unit is sealed. Cannot silence the Nukalert. You must let the battery drain.
    Battery in NukAlert cannot be replaced by user. Unit is sealed. Buy new unit or get professionally refurbished.
    (FYI – sealed design and non-user replaceable battery means has absolutely no effect on EMP protection).
    It has a CDS cell:
    “Its [Nukalert] disadvantages are slow response and sensitivity to temperature changes” – extracted from manufacturer’s website.
    “The NukAlert sensor is affected by changes in temperature. The sensor becomes less sensitive while cooling and tends toward alarm while warming” – extracted from manufacturer’s website.
    “It

    Reply
  5. Jeff M says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    So the video on their site is doctored then I take it? Cause they show the x-ray machine zap it and it alerts about medium levels and then turns right off.
    Why does it need to detect beta radiation? Wouldn’t it be intentional for it to not detect beta?
    I dunno Jimmy B, you seem to be selling something. Your argument is pretty one sided.

    Reply
  6. Jeff M says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    So Christian, how much money do you and your friend make when you sell one of these junk bags?

    Reply
  7. Jimmy B says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm

    I do my homework Jeff. Maybe you should too. It seems YOU are trying to sell something since you posted a url to a website, not I.

    Reply
  8. Jimmy B says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Concerning the Nukalert inability to detect beta radiation:
    Beta detections is required for detecting Strontium 90 (possible dirty bomb radiation) and detecting beta emitters from radioactive iodine (I-131) from nuclear reactor/bomb.
    It also doesn’t detect fast neutron radiation as most mil-grade detectors do.

    Reply
  9. Jeff M says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    urls, like this one? http://www.securenet.bc.ca/Library/RadSense/RadDetectcompare.htm
    Seems you took a product comparison of two electronic detectors, took all the bad stuff and pasted it here. Either you’re crazy or you are selling something. If you bought two nukalerts you may be crazy.

    Reply
  10. Jimmy B says:
    September 24, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Scenarios
    Dirty Bomb – A family is in a downtown Chicago store during the summer when a dirty bomb is detonated neaby. The family with the Nukalert

    Reply
  11. Jimmy B says:
    September 24, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Hey Jeff! Thanks for the link to that great chart! Proves my point!
    You’ve met your match, dude. Give it up.

    Reply
  12. Byron Skinner says:
    September 24, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Good Morning Folks,
    Since this post is pure silliness, I can’t resist, are the tin foil hats extra?
    ALLONS,
    Byron Skinner

    Reply
  13. Jeff M says:
    September 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    So how does the scenario change with your little $3 card with film on it? The family find a pile of radioactive goo, they put their trusty radiation detector card up to it and wait 4-8 weeks for signs of beta radiation. Bomb goes off and they have no clue (besides the giant fireball) because their card doesn’t beep or anything like that, it turns a different color over the course of a few hours. Someone should have told them this card was meant for laboratory workers to measure daily radiation exposure and not for emergencies.

    Reply
  14. Jeff M says:
    September 24, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Hey Byron,
    I would have thought you’d be the first to own one of these awesome thingamabobs!

    Reply
  15. justbill says:
    September 24, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    First off, can we PLEASE nuke the spammers?!
    Secondly, re. Nukalert. Some protection is better than no protection. What are the chances a dirty bomb or power plant gone to hell would only emit Beta particles undetected by Nukalert? For my family it was an easy choice. There’s been one hanging from the rearview mirror of our car for about a year. Approximately $10/year over the course of a battery lifespan…cheap albeit somewhat imperfect insurance.

    Reply
  16. Jimmy B says:
    September 24, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Jeff. We’re talking about the nukalert. Junk that it is. What $3 card are you going on about?

    Reply
  17. A. Nonymous says:
    September 24, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    Justbill,
    If the spammers buy a Nukalert before we nuke them, will they be able to detect it?

    Reply
  18. Anthony says:
    September 24, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    I’m selling a post-nuke safety guide! here’s a preview
    step #1 grab a handful of sand or check the clouds to see which way the wind is blowing. Also try to spot the mushroom cloud.
    step #2: go the opposite way lol
    paypal always accepted!

    Reply
  19. Camp says:
    September 24, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    Invest in adult diapers. Because you will sh!t yourself. After you realize, that you’ve just survived a nuclear explosion.
    “Fallout 3: Butcher Pete”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDiM3R4V-4k

    Reply
  20. Fred says:
    September 24, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    Do to a new Obama deal with Czech and Poland, each citizen of these countries will get a bomb emergency kit instead of a missile shield. Kinda like parting gifts…

    Reply
  21. Mark says:
    September 25, 2009 at 9:43 am

    I can’t believe none of you mentioned a three easy payment plan. What about the “and that’s not all” stuff?

    Reply
  22. The Cenobyte says:
    September 25, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Seems like you would be better off with a good bug out bag, and an emergency alert radio.

    Reply
  23. Desert Sage says:
    September 30, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    don’t forget to checkout this site for more deeply insights on how to do almost anything from A-Z survival is the key~
    http://parowanprophet.com/

    Reply

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