Home » News » The Defense Biz » 25K sign petition to build Death Star

25K sign petition to build Death Star

by Mike Hoffman on December 13, 2012

More than 25,000 individuals who live in the United States of America took the time to sign a petition requesting the White House dedicate resources toward building a Death Star of Star Wars fame by 2016.

No, really.

Much like Lockheed Martin and Boeing CEOs, writers of the petition claim the government has a responsibility to start construction on the Death Star because it will spur job growth in America’s stalled economy.

“By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense,” according to the petition.

Because they garnered 25,000 signatures on their petition, the White House will issue an official response. However, prominent defense analysts across the nation said the potential sequestration cuts could put the Death Star plans in jeopardy.

It’s unclear if the signees of the petition will accept the fiscal cliff as an excuse.

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{ 126 comments… read them below or add one }

BlackOwl18E December 13, 2012 at 8:34 pm

This is why we can't have nice things…

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crackedlenses December 13, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Forget building a Death Star, I'd settle for a successful moon mining operation. I'm not really sure whether to laugh or groan…..

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JamalTheBanker December 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Lets see, its Dec 20th. Can we build it in two days? Come on guys, lets all pitch in! Ill take my adderall!

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blight_ December 13, 2012 at 8:35 pm

OBAMA SUPERWEAPONS TO PROTECT WELFARE AND SHARIA LAW

/satire

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A. Nonymous December 17, 2012 at 10:42 am

Good, I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

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Lance December 13, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Your kidding me Lockheed is serious?

Beside liberals like Obama hate WMD and the Death Star would be the best weapon one shot we are all dead!.

Id prefer our sixth gen fighters be the X Wing and Y wing first before the Death Star.

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Lance December 14, 2012 at 1:10 am

Naw I think about it lets build the Genesis Torpedo then when we wipe out life on earth we can rebuild it since Death Star destroys everything!!

Another petition is coming for NASA to make a Voyager 6 probe so it can come back in 300 years LOL.

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NeoconBrony December 14, 2012 at 3:23 am

Are you sure that you didn't mean "You're kidding me Lockheed is serious?" ? You're is the contraction of you and are while your is the possessive form of you.

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jerseybiz December 14, 2012 at 4:37 am

It was more than likely, an "auto-correct" mistake. Judging by the lack of punctuation, the jury is still out.

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Mike December 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Steve December 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm

rebel scum…., ahh i mean trusted allies

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FunnyBone December 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

@Lance…
Sorry, no way were building REBEL aircraft!

Its TIE Fighters or nothing….

:)

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Rob December 13, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Better off petitioning to build the Enterprise . So far starts we will need space docks to construct in space and maybe by time ship is in building phase we will advanced some in tech, energy and propulsion.

Initial goals would be for finding rare galactic minerals for mining other planets/moons then asteroid capturing for resources.

If not, hope they could build a biosphere on the moon so we can send all the criminals, troublemakers and haters there. Make the world a better place

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Obvious December 14, 2012 at 1:24 pm

They will build a new Enterprise, but the last one was just deactivated on the first. Give 'um some time.

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blight_ December 14, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Rob probably meant NCC-1701, and not a CVN.

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dgh December 20, 2012 at 8:00 am

I'm a hater,(Republican TEA member) can I go!!!!Me me me

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DougieR December 13, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Congress can't repel signatures of that magnitude! Build the frickin' Death Star already!

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Trooper2 December 14, 2012 at 11:47 am

That would be completely dependent upon what those 25K people represented – Unions or the 2%.

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A. Nonymous December 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Many Bothans died to bring us that petition…

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john g November 1, 2013 at 4:20 pm

I agree lets build the death star because we might need it iam all about having good security

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Matrix3692 December 14, 2012 at 12:29 am
whoaa December 14, 2012 at 1:13 am

Lol, I do think we need a big project though to start up the economy again. Maybe a newer gigantic space station or we could build a giant stone wall around our borders.

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Bryan W December 14, 2012 at 2:49 am

Yeah. That way we can knock down that old, french, pain in the ass, statue of liberty.

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

I mean, what a crock, right? (Insert sarcasm there)

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Thunder350 December 14, 2012 at 7:36 pm

The wall we're building to keep people out will eventually be used to keep people in.

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guest December 14, 2012 at 9:50 pm

It was a joke guys, calm down

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Twidget at Large December 17, 2012 at 11:58 am

We call it satire for now…

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Mike December 20, 2012 at 9:13 pm

This administration does not want a strong economy. They want an uninformed electorate dependent on the government. Which is what we have. How else could onumbnuts get re-elected?

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Nadnerbus December 14, 2012 at 4:37 am

Headline from 2022: BoingLockGrumMart Death Star set to cross the Nunn Mccurdy threshold at 3.5 trillion dollars. Company officials say most of teething problems worked out.

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John December 24, 2012 at 9:20 pm

2022? Stop. There would be a 125 year research phase costing untold trillions followed up with a few prototypes costing a few zillion at which point the thing would be canceled and the taxpayers would get no tangible benefit and the defense industry would make zillions while building nothing.

Like the F-35.

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mpower6428 December 14, 2012 at 5:05 am

its official, we are a nation of idiots.

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Eric Deal December 14, 2012 at 6:08 pm

i actually hope most of them just wanted to do it for the hell of it. i hope none of them truly thinks we will create a death star.

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Thunder350 December 15, 2012 at 12:34 am

Hopefully people also realize it's impossible to do with today's technology.

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mpower6428 December 15, 2012 at 9:09 pm

two responses full of "hope"….

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Bill December 16, 2012 at 11:59 am

or sarcastic trolls

My vote is a mixture of both.

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Johnny Ranger December 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

That was official on election day.

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mpower6428 December 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

election day 2004

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SGTalon December 16, 2012 at 12:49 pm

This is the thing that put it over the edge for you? I would think that about 2 months ago was what set things over the edge.

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mpower6428 December 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

now you know how i felt on election day 2004.

yours truely
Obama Voter

ps. i want to drink your tears.

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Becca December 14, 2012 at 5:28 am

From now on, I will never use the rhetorical phrase "How stupid can people be?" since they seem to have taken it up as a challenge. While I would welcome the construction of any new carrier (I live in Va Beach and they could use the business in Newport News) The Big E is getting #9 in the series before any stupid crap like that…..tell those people to make the USS Obama, a rowboat that finds itself up shit's creek without a paddle. I can't wait to tell my dad this one and get his reaction (he's worked for Boeing practically since he retired from the Navy in 95).

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Becca December 14, 2012 at 5:30 am

One last thing, this sounds like the job of NASA and last I checked, their focus is "Muslim relations"

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blight_ December 14, 2012 at 9:00 am

NASA has pennies on the dollar compared to their glory days.

On the plus side, they paved the way for drone teleoperation…

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Stan December 14, 2012 at 10:42 am

Actually, it's half a penny, according to Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

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blight_ December 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Back then we gave two hoots about space. It was just another place to beat the Soviets, like El Salvador and Argentina.

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Ryan December 14, 2012 at 8:44 am
Amicus Curiae December 14, 2012 at 9:33 am

Anti-gravity devices and Time Travel machines are much higher on my wish list. That's the ticket…

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Doctor Batman March 23, 2013 at 9:10 am

Agreed. I would much rather have a TARDIS than a death star

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Yoda December 14, 2012 at 10:17 am

That people so shortsighted. As if there were not enough wars here, you have to take the war into space. Why not make a scientific research station? It also creates jobs, or not? Or is it that instead of defending freedom simply want to create an evil empire, like the movie?
How much stupidity!

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Prodozul December 14, 2012 at 10:32 am

Did anyone else read that in Yoda's voice?

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TomUK December 14, 2012 at 12:24 pm
TomUK December 14, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Yoda December 14, 2012 at 1:06 pm

What is it?

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Menzie December 14, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Is that a Russian car?

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William_C1 December 14, 2012 at 3:00 pm

When you can obliterate anybody on the planet from space without trouble, there isn't much room for wars. The Galactic Empire kept the peace and built important infrastructure across the galaxy. The Rebels were just whiners.

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blight_ December 14, 2012 at 3:19 pm

We all know it was the might of the Star Destroyer that kept the empire together…

Then again, there's always the Sun Crusher and the Galaxy Gun.

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crackedlenses December 14, 2012 at 11:43 pm

One could say the same about the British Empire. Remind me again why a bunch of whiny colonists decided to become independent?

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Thomas L. Nielsen December 17, 2012 at 4:14 am

"All right… all right… but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… what has the Galactic Empire done for us?"

Regards & all,

Thomas L. Nielsen
Luxembourg

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William_C1 December 17, 2012 at 4:58 am

That reference made my day, thank you sir.

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where do we go December 20, 2012 at 9:29 am

of course you must be from the left anything that has an ability to attack or defend is always stupid of course we can ignore all the other inventions that can and will come with this construction artificial gravity a solid base to learn to grow and cultivate large crops in space and the ability to move such an item say to other planets but of course we dont want a gun on it because nothing and no one has ever been attacked as long as its unarmed

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JEMcKellar December 14, 2012 at 10:29 am

Can we build it out of hemp?

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Yoda December 14, 2012 at 10:44 am

That people so shortsighted. As if there were not enough wars here, you have to take the war into space. Why not make a scientific research station? It also creates jobs, or not? Or is it that instead of defending freedom simply want to create an evil empire, like the movie?

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Yoda December 14, 2012 at 10:46 am

Development in space must be for me, but the peaceful development. Take our narrow-mindedness into space only worsen our miseries.

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Sandman December 14, 2012 at 11:04 am

Better yet, place the plans of the Death Star on a secure server of Lockheed Martin, have the chinese steal it, build it, and we buy it from them at 10% of our cost. Dang wanna see the chinese copy that!

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Yoda December 14, 2012 at 11:44 am

Haha! True story. I agree. That´s another reason to build something with peaceful purposes. If the Chinese are going to copy, at least not be as dangerous…

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6113 December 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Oh, I'm afraid the firewalls will be quite operational when the Chinese arrive…

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blight_ December 14, 2012 at 2:29 pm

An entire legion of my best haxxors, awaits them…

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UAVGeek December 17, 2012 at 5:39 pm

It is quite safe from your pitiful, little band.

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Vaporhead December 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I'm sure this will get enough attention that the Pentagon will have to hold press conference. This project could possibly get more costly then the JSF program, but unlikely.

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Big Dean December 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Just call it a "green" project and soon billions of dollars in "free" loans will be flowing it's way

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Small Dean December 15, 2012 at 6:33 pm

"You" "got" "it's" wrong.

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riceball December 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

It's is a contraction of it is, the possessive form of it is its with no apostrophe.

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Bill December 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm

What do you mean they wan to build it…….they probably already have it!
Did they ever find out what happened to the $2.1 trillion they announced the lost on the day before 9/11????? Hmmmm.

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tired December 20, 2012 at 9:31 am

yes it went to help elect Obama

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William_C1 December 14, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational government stimulus project!

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blight_ December 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Remember, the original Death Star was built with the supermax inmates of the Galactic Empire.

Unlikely to create jobs.

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Tad December 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

If this a jobs program to create high-tech jobs, why not focus on space travel itself as a means of exploration?

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Matt December 14, 2012 at 5:53 pm

On DT, this is a blogworthy post. But Benghazi? Waste of bandwidth.

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Sandman December 14, 2012 at 6:33 pm

This must be a plan by the Government to get back at the chinese, keep posting super projects that they know the chinese are looking at. Have the chinese steal the bogus top secret plans…..and the chinese keeps building them. Lets see what the chinese chucks out over the next 5 years.

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Belesari December 14, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Someone please tell me Yoda up there is trolling? Please other wise he is a idiot and or completely out of touch with the reality of human nature.

A universe without war? Sure there will be simply nothing…………void and formless….

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Hunter76 December 14, 2012 at 9:11 pm

25,000? That's not even interesting.

There're even more Birthers than that.

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Menzie December 14, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Thats the threshold needed for a petition to be taken seriously. You could petition for the name of the USA to be changed to the republic of the free. If you have 25000 signatures they would at least have to look at it. It would obviously be laughed down but hey…

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Big Dean December 14, 2012 at 9:42 pm

The Death Star-a 25 trillion dollar "jobs" program that "created or saved" 20 jobs-we still don't know which.

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Sev December 14, 2012 at 11:38 pm

The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the Force.

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crackedlenses December 14, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Ah, but can you breed Jedi/Sith as fast as you can build Death Stars?……….

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Belesari December 15, 2012 at 12:01 am

Someone please tell me Yoda up there is trolling? Please other wise he is a idiot and or completely out of touch with the reality of human nature.

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Robert December 15, 2012 at 12:32 am

Covered in solar panels.

Structured like a skycraper 7/or an auircraft carrier

With ability to launch smaller craft or dock with ISS

Largest telescope possible

Research laboratories & space manufacturing, tourism and mineral extraction as external incomes.

It's really doable. just it would not be a moon of destruction, able to kill planets.

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Chris December 15, 2012 at 5:13 pm

This kind of thing is actually not a new idea in the least bit. There are reputable/credible geopolitical defense out there who think that one of the biggest black projects of the coming century will be the construction of a handful of "death stars" (for lack of a better term). Of course they will be nothing like the Star Wars variety but more or less a way to deploy weapons/boots on the ground in a rapid fashion should the need arise. We are the world's police after all.

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Dean December 15, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Well…suppose this was considered seriously? How would you go about building a DS? Obviously we lack many fundemental technologies necessary and need to research them first. What would be so wrong with a new massive fundemental research initiative? Creates jobs, discovers new knowledge that will benefit broadly, will build the economy. Even if it take 10,000 years to build, we as a society are doing zero in terms of enterprise that looks that far ahead. We can look 10,000 years into human past, we need a vision for 10,000 years into the future.
So yes, as a serious proposal, starting in 2016 lets begin on a new course for human history that looks 10,000 years into the future and invest more, much more, into basic science and fundemental research towards technological revolutions 1000 lifetimes away.

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Apinya December 24, 2012 at 9:10 pm
AmeriToast December 15, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Is it sad i actually know one of the guys who signed the petition?

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crackedlenses December 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Considering Yoda is an aliens, it isn't entirely surprising…..

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Dan December 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Seems like about the same percentage of posters here get the idea that this is a joke as signed the original petition… for those that don't/didn't, to quote the immortal Foghorn Leghorn "IT'S A JOKE, SON!"

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blight_ December 16, 2012 at 4:32 pm

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/secure-

"Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.
Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."

It's more in line with satire, kind of like proposing to eat Irish babies re Jonathan Swift.

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Amicus Curiae December 17, 2012 at 8:16 am

I find your lack of faith disturbing…

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SANDMAN December 17, 2012 at 9:29 am

YEAH SURE, BUILD A DEATH STAR….. GENERATE JOBS THEY SAY…..WHERE AT ??? CHINA !!!!!

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Mastro December 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Well- the Death Star will probably be cheaper than one F35-

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Dan December 17, 2012 at 10:16 pm

And reach IOC sooner…..

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charlieg December 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Can disney set up a tour of the deathstar, How cool will that be.

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Nick December 17, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I propose that during the next recession, we build the Death Star instead of enacting all that QE3/gov't stimulus type of monetary and fiscal policy. I mean, we get the most powerful weapon that mankind has ever seen, AND we spend/innovate our way out of a recession. Boom. Kill two birds with one stone, or in this case, a big fat laser.

And even after all that, it'll still be cheaper than the F-35.

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John December 18, 2012 at 11:42 am

Would like to take this time to say Good Bye DT you used to be worth a daily visit but now you've been deleted from my favorites.

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explody thingy December 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

would we have to pay lucas a royalty for using the name 'death star'? Lets call it death ball or explody satelitte thingy or some other non-trademarked moniker should be used. Have a contest to name it!

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blight_ December 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Precision Global Annilhilator.

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Kim December 18, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Ok, how many of you would NOT have signed that petition, had you been aware of it? (I, for one, would have signed).

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GUEST December 18, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Concerning the rest of DoD's Acquisition process with big weapons-it'll be trillions over budget, take and additional century past deadline, and then THEY'LL FORGET TO PUT GRATE OVER EXHAUST VENT ;)

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Curt December 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Kind of makes the whole petition thing pointless doesn't it? After all, if you can get 25k to signup for a Death Star, what good is your program? Brilliant political satire.

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Woody December 19, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Any attack against this station would be a useless gesture….no matter what technical data the Muslims have obtained, this station is now the ultimate power in the universe…I suggest we wipe out Muslimberg…

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Adam Majkowski December 19, 2012 at 10:24 pm

You losers don't need to build a death star to destroy this planet. You are already doing it. Also, more people have signed the white house petition to legalize weed. About 30,000 more. Which when that happens will put you morons out of a job.

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Randy December 19, 2012 at 11:05 pm

The US already has weapons in space as of 1977. So do we get to see the names of the idiots that signed the petition? Perhaps they are some of the same ones who think Obama was born in Kenya.

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Silverthorn December 20, 2012 at 12:37 am

The Mayans have reportedly completed their Death Star and are scheduled to begin testing on 12/21/12. The plan is that as soon as they clear the Moon they will test fire the main weapon. Hey, it's been on their calendar for a long time…

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crackedlenses December 20, 2012 at 2:13 am

Cue opening credits for Armageddon….

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Jimmy P December 20, 2012 at 11:07 am

Perhaps the ETs have been here monitoring our ability and potential to blow ourselves up since we went nuclear at the end of WWII. Under that assumption ( work with me here ), they would not tolerate any effort that exponentially increases that possibility. They know how imperfect and hostile we truely are and they recognize our growing potential to anhilate ourselves. Not wanting to also suffer from that fate, they would subtly satotage any dark efforts on our part.
I suggest we appoint a "fearless leader" to simply call them on the bat phone and petition them on this one … before we spend all that time and money ! Remember, they not only saw all the Star Wars movies, they likely lived them !

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Sith Lord Idiot December 21, 2012 at 2:37 am

Only 25,000 people signed the petition?

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Lawrence December 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm

OMG! A "death star"??? Some have way too much idle time on their hands. I cannot believe someone would this this feasible? We should build several! That can't be too expensive could it?

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Lawrence December 27, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I'll try this again…OMG a Death Star??? Some PEOPLE have way too much time on their hands. I cannot believe someone would think this is feasible? We should build several! That can't be too expensive could it?

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Marcus Brown December 31, 2012 at 6:32 pm

with the current plans to mine asteroids, it might be possible to hollow one out and turn it into a space station/construction facility, attach rockets too it and tow it to the dark side of the moon…

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Mike Kloos May 22, 2013 at 3:13 pm

i doubt whether there is enough steel on earth to even build the exterior

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batman the joker faces purple zip up hoodie sweatshirt August 30, 2014 at 4:52 pm

I used to be able to find good advice from
your content.

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Thunder350 December 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm

That really depends on what is mined on the moon, we really have no idea what's beneath the surface. It could be a gold mine, or just a bunch of useless rocks.

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BlackOwl18E December 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Unobtainium…

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LogicalThinking January 5, 2013 at 11:05 am

Do remember that if we mine gold and bring it back it will drop the value here. It is more effective to mine a fuel than resource.

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crackedlenses December 15, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Someone should have told the RDA before they got into the fisticuff with those 10 ft. smurfs from Pandora…

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blight_ December 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Just park Predator UAVs over their villages and put a TLAM-N into every magic tree. Game 'effin over.

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crackedlenses December 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

And all the "humanitarians" would begin howling in protest, unfortunately. Then again, what happens on Pandora, can easily stay on Pandora……

<laughs maniacally>

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UAVGeek December 17, 2012 at 5:37 pm

"Moon is a harsh mistress" anyone?

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ben December 23, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Helium 3 is the main focus of most moon mining proposals…

The earth's magnetic field means we don't pick up any from the solar wind, but there is a butt load of it that has been deposited on the moon.

If we can get fusion powerplants out of the trade, moon mining suddenly becomes a much more reasonable goal.

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Thunder350 January 5, 2013 at 1:51 pm

Price fixing solves it. Just look at the diamond industry as a prime example. Super expensive pieces of rock that are easily mined very cheaply in a massive abundance here on Earth.

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Mitt Romney January 9, 2013 at 11:20 pm

Can we whipe out Obama first?

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