Obama crushes Death Star dreams

Pentagon budget cuts and sequestration finally got real to a portion of America’s populace — the portion that considers a day wielding a light saber as a day well spent.

Yes, the White House broke the hearts of more than 34,000 Americans who signed an online petition requesting President Obama to deliver a Death Star by 2016. The White House left Paul Shawcross, the chief of the Science and Space branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, to explain why.

His excuse was typical for a Washington bureaucrat, the budget. Shawcross estimated that it would cost approximately $852,000,000,000,000,000 to build the Death Star citing a “study” by Lehigh University economics students.

Shawcross also said building a Death Star would strike against the White House policy against “blowing up planets.”

The White House did do their homework. Shawcross made the salient point that building a Death Star seemed fruitless considering a glaring weakness.

“Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” Shawcross said in a statement.

The rest of Shawcross’ response loses much of its gusto for which it began as Shawcross tried to make the case for current military and NASA research projects. It just doesn’t hold up to the beginning. It’s almost like he’s mocking those 34,000 Americans who truly believed the construction of the Death Star could prop up the American economy. Sadly, Shawcross justified its dismissal because of that very deficit.

So there you have it Star Wars fans. The deficit ruins another perfectly good plan. And I guess the stubborness of the White House on the planet destroying policy.

32 Comments on "Obama crushes Death Star dreams"

  1. Breaking news from a week ago.

  2. That's okay. The F-35 will cost just as much.

  3. Can we at least get a super star destroyer then?

  4. Thomas L. Nielsen | January 15, 2013 at 2:04 am |

    "….White House policy against “blowing up planets.” "

    Since when?

    Regards & all,

    Thomas L. Nielsen

  5. bill thornton | January 15, 2013 at 3:06 am |

    Lets make C3PO first….

  6. Damnnnnn, I want one, with the "flaw" corrected, of course.

  7. The fact they are so vehemently denying wanting to build it only proves the project is well on it's way in the "black" budget and they are passing along disinformation.
    It may even be operational already – what do you think happened to the planet that was supposed to crash into Earth on Dec 21st?

  8. Tribulationtime | January 15, 2013 at 12:22 pm |

    It will be better create a Jedi Knight MOS in first place.

  9. NAW, get the Star trek Genesis Torpedo better planet killer and your can repopulate the planet after usage.

  10. Planets take millions of years to form and are valuable real estate to spacefaring civilizations. Why blow them up?

  11. InterestedParty | January 15, 2013 at 3:20 pm |

    Defence news? Really? ;)

    C'mon give us some meaty stories/news. Not this banality. (Sorry :) !)

  12. How about an orbiting homeless shelter for welfare loafers?

  13. This whole petition system the WH has set up is a charade as well as a joke. It’s a joke to those who submit a proposal like this one, and a charade because Obama doesn’t care what people ask for — he pays attention to the ones he wants to (none, that I’ve heard about) and ignores the rest with some fancy footwork by one of his minions.

  14. JohnnyRanger | January 16, 2013 at 9:47 am |

    Damn. If he's going to keep wasting our (borrowed) money, at least he could spend it on something cool…

  15. Can we petition to have people added to Obama's drone kill list?

  16. Dang… That was our ONE chance to get rid of Gingrich!

  17. Incredible!! The Death Star representated the last best hope for our, the United Planets, to thwart the Empire! Curses!

  18. LukeSkywalker | January 16, 2013 at 10:39 pm |

    The figure cited to build a death star is only a pre-production estimate. Imagine what it might be, if a death star were actually built.

  19. What is wrong with you people. Try taking care of this planet before blowing up others. Get some common sense, please!!!

  20. Sydney F. Haase | January 17, 2013 at 2:15 am |

    it doesnt matter, we believe in a new world order. before long the un will be our government. we the people will be a memory. because we believe the government knows best.

    Semper Fi USMC ret

  21. Adam Majkowski | January 17, 2013 at 5:34 am |

    The pentagon is already destroying the planet. It doesn't even need a one shot energy beam from space to do it.

  22. Did he go thru Congress or issue an executive order?

  23. It's obvious that Obama never served in the Viet Nam, because he would have realized that sometimes, in order to to save a planet, you have to destroy it.

  24. We need to get serious people to plan real military strategy for our future forces. The most advanced forces we have fought in the past 50 years are four guys with AK-47's in the back of a 1972 Toyota pickup. Look back at the vast armada of equipment used against us, Toyota pickups. Who are we kidding. There is noone anywhere on earth that could even put up a good fight. Smaller, mobile, smarter are what we need. I like the drones, I think we could beat almost anyone with just the drone force.

  25. Yauncy Alkire | April 3, 2013 at 10:42 am |

    China, can we have some more money?! ^_^

  26. Hows about just a space-based weapons platform for the new Laser weaponry? One that could be maneuvered over "hotspots" and just melt down whatever we wanted out of the picture! Iranian nuclear reactor sites – vaporized! North Korean nuclear sites – vaporized! Just like in the movies.

  27. ‘sigh’……i told you so…… and why not just go with space colonies instead? and you just HAD to build a death star…..

  28. I must say that’s a huge budget estimated for death star dream. And Obama did the right thing by crashing such dream!! Although I didn’t even have exact count of the amount fixed by Chief of Science Space branch.

  29. These are the items from the Star Wars, Star Trek and Battlestar Galatical universe which I would like to see in real life
    – A, B, X-Wing, Battlestar Viper fighters
    – Imperial Shuttles
    – Corellian Corvettes
    – MC-90 Mon Calamaria Cruisers
    – Republican Star Destroyers
    – NCC-1701D Star Trek cruisers
    – Battlestar Galatical space cruiser etc

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