Home » Air » Obama crushes Death Star dreams

Obama crushes Death Star dreams

by Mike Hoffman on January 14, 2013

Pentagon budget cuts and sequestration finally got real to a portion of America’s populace — the portion that considers a day wielding a light saber as a day well spent.

Yes, the White House broke the hearts of more than 34,000 Americans who signed an online petition requesting President Obama to deliver a Death Star by 2016. The White House left Paul Shawcross, the chief of the Science and Space branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, to explain why.

His excuse was typical for a Washington bureaucrat, the budget. Shawcross estimated that it would cost approximately $852,000,000,000,000,000 to build the Death Star citing a “study” by Lehigh University economics students.

Shawcross also said building a Death Star would strike against the White House policy against “blowing up planets.”

The White House did do their homework. Shawcross made the salient point that building a Death Star seemed fruitless considering a glaring weakness.

“Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” Shawcross said in a statement.

The rest of Shawcross’ response loses much of its gusto for which it began as Shawcross tried to make the case for current military and NASA research projects. It just doesn’t hold up to the beginning. It’s almost like he’s mocking those 34,000 Americans who truly believed the construction of the Death Star could prop up the American economy. Sadly, Shawcross justified its dismissal because of that very deficit.

So there you have it Star Wars fans. The deficit ruins another perfectly good plan. And I guess the stubborness of the White House on the planet destroying policy.

Share |

{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

Cavorite January 14, 2013 at 11:12 pm

Breaking news from a week ago.

Reply

BlackOwl18E January 14, 2013 at 11:42 pm

That's okay. The F-35 will cost just as much.

Reply

John Constantine January 15, 2013 at 4:49 pm

LOL! Best laugh all week.

Reply

CRod January 15, 2013 at 9:18 pm
Nadnerbus January 15, 2013 at 1:16 am

Can we at least get a super star destroyer then?

Reply

Musson January 15, 2013 at 10:18 am

Are you going to lock your phasers onto Biance?

Reply

Musson January 15, 2013 at 10:18 am

Beyonce, that is.

Reply

Prodozul January 15, 2013 at 2:19 pm

Baby steps man…with an AT-AT!

Reply

Steve February 16, 2014 at 1:04 pm

phasors are for pussies ( IE Star trek)

Reply

Thomas L. Nielsen January 15, 2013 at 2:04 am

"….White House policy against “blowing up planets.” "

Since when?

Regards & all,

Thomas L. Nielsen
Luxembourg

Reply

leroy January 15, 2013 at 6:08 am

There's always one , liberal sad sack waiting around. Its nice having an opinion when your the holder of monies stolen by third world despots, you must be so proud of Luxembourg.

regards
The rest of the world

Reply

Thomas L. Nielsen January 15, 2013 at 7:36 am

In the imortal words of Sgt. Hulka:

"Lighten up, Francis."

Regards & all,

Thomas L. Nielsen
Luxembourg (Expat Dane)

Reply

Thomas L. Nielsen January 15, 2013 at 7:41 am

…and that should be "immortal" words. Wretched spell check….

Regards & all,

Thomas L. Nielsen
Luxembourg

Reply

TomUK January 15, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Phono January 16, 2013 at 1:08 pm

Investing this money in a healthier planet seems not as impotant as buying some great entertainment. You could have done something substancial, I would like to say to the supporters …
But it's also a great deal of humor, on that side it has a big value. That brings people and State together.

Reply

Red February 11, 2013 at 11:17 am

Like those in Europe have any right to pass judgement on "blowing up planets"…

WWI and WWII, anyone?

Reply

Matrix3692 January 15, 2013 at 2:36 am
bill thornton January 15, 2013 at 3:06 am

Lets make C3PO first….

Reply

Tom January 15, 2013 at 11:18 am

Damnnnnn, I want one, with the "flaw" corrected, of course.

Reply

Troooper2 January 15, 2013 at 2:22 pm

The manufacturer calls it a "feature".

Reply

Mitch S. January 15, 2013 at 12:12 pm

The fact they are so vehemently denying wanting to build it only proves the project is well on it's way in the "black" budget and they are passing along disinformation.
It may even be operational already – what do you think happened to the planet that was supposed to crash into Earth on Dec 21st?

Reply

Constantine January 15, 2013 at 4:58 pm

The same thing that happened to Pluto. Zapped into oblivion.

Reply

Tribulationtime January 15, 2013 at 12:22 pm

It will be better create a Jedi Knight MOS in first place.

Reply

Lance January 15, 2013 at 2:22 pm

NAW, get the Star trek Genesis Torpedo better planet killer and your can repopulate the planet after usage.

Reply

Mitch S. January 15, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Can't fit a golf course on a torpedo.
The Death Star can have multiple golf courses and luxurious homes for the officers, it's the AF's dream weapon system!

Reply

William A. Peterson January 16, 2013 at 10:52 am

THAT, of course, is a great reason NOT to invest in it! When was the last time the Chair Force got anything right?
Anyways, I'm kind of with the President on not blowing up planets thing… at least until we get more than one planet!

Reply

riceball January 16, 2013 at 4:24 pm

I guess you haven't watched ST II, have you? It's not about the torpedo itself but rather what the torpedo can do. For instance, we could take the Genesis device, set it off on the moon and we'd have an inhabitable moon. On the other hand, we take the same Genesis device and set it off on an inhabited planet it would wipe out all life on the planet and then recreate all of the flora and fauna minus any intelligent life forms. Better than a Death Star because it would cost a lot less money and instead of blasting a planet into smithereens we'd get a nice unihabited planet to do with as we please.

Reply

Thomas L. Nielsen January 17, 2013 at 2:05 am

Some rent-a-cop named Quaritch from something called the Resources Development Administration called (long distance call). He'd like a word with you about that idea….

Regards & all,

Thomas L. Nielsen
Luxembourg

Reply

crackedlenses January 15, 2013 at 3:13 pm

But then the rest of the world would start calling imperialists and colonialists and bullies and….

Oh, wait, they already are. Never mind…..

Reply

Governor Tarkin January 15, 2013 at 5:02 pm

Not that it would matter. We can always tone down the Death Star from planet-mode to country-mode.

Reply

Jacob January 15, 2013 at 3:18 pm

Planets take millions of years to form and are valuable real estate to spacefaring civilizations. Why blow them up?

Reply

crackedlenses January 15, 2013 at 3:25 pm

Just find the legendary planet of Magrophia, and it won't be an issue.

Reply

walterc January 17, 2013 at 10:07 am

Because we can.

Reply

InterestedParty January 15, 2013 at 3:20 pm

Defence news? Really? ;)

C'mon give us some meaty stories/news. Not this banality. (Sorry :) !)

Reply

Akira January 15, 2013 at 6:50 pm

That's OK Mr. Obama already made out the deal, let China have it and in return they would loan more $$$ to U.S. it's all "debt for life"

Reply

Hibeam January 15, 2013 at 10:38 pm

How about an orbiting homeless shelter for welfare loafers?

Reply

Jsmith January 16, 2013 at 7:14 am

This whole petition system the WH has set up is a charade as well as a joke. It’s a joke to those who submit a proposal like this one, and a charade because Obama doesn’t care what people ask for — he pays attention to the ones he wants to (none, that I’ve heard about) and ignores the rest with some fancy footwork by one of his minions.

Reply

NativeSon January 16, 2013 at 8:22 pm

You are quite the joke yourself, Jsmith. Imagine… you open that hole in your head and noise comes out!

Reply

top dog January 17, 2013 at 9:48 am

Or better yet, somebody should punch a hole behind his ear and let the dumbnest pour out…..heheheheheee!!!

Reply

JohnnyRanger January 16, 2013 at 9:47 am

Damn. If he's going to keep wasting our (borrowed) money, at least he could spend it on something cool…

Reply

William A. Peterson January 16, 2013 at 10:56 am

Oh, if the Petition had been about building a Constitution-class Starship, a lot of his objections would have gone away! But, what do you expect from Lockheed? If it's not Big, Bloated, and Hideously Flawed, they're not interested!

Reply

Mastro January 16, 2013 at 5:45 pm

Can we petition to have people added to Obama's drone kill list?

Reply

NativeSon January 16, 2013 at 8:19 pm

Yeah… or would you rather that he send American troops in to possible be killed in order to get rid of terrorists? Of course, he could of lied like the Shrub did and invade a soverign country…

Yup. That’s just the way goobers roll!

Reply

NativeSon January 16, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Dang… That was our ONE chance to get rid of Gingrich!

Reply

top dog January 17, 2013 at 9:51 am

No….there is still the Moon colony.

Reply

Carperry January 16, 2013 at 8:50 pm

Incredible!! The Death Star representated the last best hope for our, the United Planets, to thwart the Empire! Curses!

Reply

LukeSkywalker January 16, 2013 at 10:39 pm

The figure cited to build a death star is only a pre-production estimate. Imagine what it might be, if a death star were actually built.

Reply

walterc January 17, 2013 at 10:06 am

If defense procurement history is any guide, at least triple the estimated figure.

Reply

elmo December 31, 2013 at 11:48 am

wait until china build one

Reply

Diane January 16, 2013 at 10:43 pm

What is wrong with you people. Try taking care of this planet before blowing up others. Get some common sense, please!!!

Reply

Thomas L. Nielsen January 17, 2013 at 2:06 am

Sense of humour! Do you have it?

Regards & all,

Thomas L. Nielsen
Luxembourg

Reply

Sydney F. Haase January 17, 2013 at 2:15 am

it doesnt matter, we believe in a new world order. before long the un will be our government. we the people will be a memory. because we believe the government knows best.

Semper Fi USMC ret

Reply

Adam Majkowski January 17, 2013 at 5:34 am

The pentagon is already destroying the planet. It doesn't even need a one shot energy beam from space to do it.

Reply

TJRedneck January 17, 2013 at 10:09 am

Did he go thru Congress or issue an executive order?

Reply

JRL January 17, 2013 at 11:08 am

It's obvious that Obama never served in the Viet Nam, because he would have realized that sometimes, in order to to save a planet, you have to destroy it.

Reply

E.M.H. January 17, 2013 at 12:12 pm
Tiger January 18, 2013 at 9:48 am
XRay January 20, 2013 at 6:18 pm

We need to get serious people to plan real military strategy for our future forces. The most advanced forces we have fought in the past 50 years are four guys with AK-47's in the back of a 1972 Toyota pickup. Look back at the vast armada of equipment used against us, Toyota pickups. Who are we kidding. There is noone anywhere on earth that could even put up a good fight. Smaller, mobile, smarter are what we need. I like the drones, I think we could beat almost anyone with just the drone force.

Reply

Yauncy Alkire April 3, 2013 at 10:42 am

China, can we have some more money?! ^_^

Reply

Mark April 9, 2013 at 8:11 am

Hows about just a space-based weapons platform for the new Laser weaponry? One that could be maneuvered over "hotspots" and just melt down whatever we wanted out of the picture! Iranian nuclear reactor sites – vaporized! North Korean nuclear sites – vaporized! Just like in the movies.

Reply

SFP May 23, 2013 at 2:26 am

‘sigh’……i told you so…… and why not just go with space colonies instead? and you just HAD to build a death star…..

Reply

Albert October 30, 2013 at 12:16 pm

I must say that’s a huge budget estimated for death star dream. And Obama did the right thing by crashing such dream!! Although I didn’t even have exact count of the amount fixed by Chief of Science Space branch.

Reply

advice on dating a younger man November 19, 2013 at 4:35 am

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: